|Alistair (25) and Woogle (2)|
I’m a man!
Well, that is, over this past year I came out as transgender.
So you guys called it.
I am planning on beginning hormone replacement therapy in the next couple of months.
Oh I had a baby a couple years ago.
So that’s your Amy update!!!
Okay, okay I guess I should say more:
As you well know, I have been struggling with my identity as a human over the decade. Every box I placed myself into as a female felt wrong. I wasn’t a bisexual woman even though I was attracted to both genders. I was too cock hungry to be a lesbian woman. I was too into women to be a straight woman tomboy. As you knew me, I would introduce myself as genderqueer or I wouldn’t introduce myself and I would get defensive if anyone tried to guess my gender based off my writing. Or I would select my gender based off of rhetorical advantage in an argument.
After three (unfortunately very literal) near-death experiences in less than the past three years, a mirror of life raised itself to my face and realization struck me.
I receive at least two completely cromulent death threats a week after a run-in with a closeted neo-Nazi Armenian drug dealer. He only leaves me alone when I fear for my life enough to go hide in the closet and try my hardest to live my life as a woman and it becomes so constricting that I have to ‘re-out’ myself.
America is on the brink of causing World War III. This month, another gay man from my town went missing in the middle of the night, he was stabbed by a local neo-Nazi, his body was found a few days later.
The same night he went missing, I received a warning that I needed to grab my bug-out bag and leave the state immediately. I went into hiding for a couple weeks and was given the all-clear after his murderer was brought in and charged. Rumors say there’s a hitlist on the dark web. I don’t even want to fuck around with that shit.
I hate California Nazis.
There’s more to it than that and if it pleases my three loyal followers, I may get into it at a later date.
I feel most secure and authentic with myself identifying as a gay man.
RL: Alistair he/his/him
SL: Amy he/she/ze/don’t care
Special thanks to:
Ashley Kay Kuuipo Yennes
Ryan Michael Capurro
All the unnamed relatives and Afterthoughts that boosted me as a writer and a human over the years. Hopefully my writing improved in both quality and necessity since my departure from the teen-angst blogosphere.