Thursday, May 13, 2010

No pie ;_;

We must raise German pie awareness.

Ishtara: Did you know that if you heat up lactose-free cheese in the microwave
Ishtara: And pour vanilla yofu on top of the molten goodness
Ishtara: It almost tastes like cheesecake?
Ishtara: Without the cake.
Daria: you are so gross
Ishtara: Just the cheese + sugar combo
Daria: ...cheesecake doesnt include cake to begin with
Ishtara: Not?
Daria: its more akin to a pie
Ishtara: Isn't the base a....
Ishtara: "baked pastry case"
Ishtara: Says my dictionary
Daria: ...pie crust
Daria: in a way
Ishtara: I never really got that
Ishtara: Pie, cake...
Daria: http://aftercheese.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/cheesecake.jpg
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Ishtara: We make a distinction between mushy and less mushy
Daria: I dont understand the etymology but theres probably a reason its called cake when its more like a pie
Daria: cake is more of a sweetbread...mushy + crust = pie
Daria: for the most part
Daria: there are exceptions
Ishtara: Between finger-cake and stuff that'd turn into a total mess without a fork
Daria: http://introtogopro.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/victoria_cake.jpg
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Daria: this = delishus caek
Ishtara: Ah
Ishtara: So cake is fingerfood.
Daria: no, you need a fork
Daria: this = pie
Ishtara: Whereas pie is mushy stuff?
Daria: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pie
Ishtara: On a thin crust
Daria: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cake
Daria: pretty much
Ishtara: We don't have anything like pie here.
Daria: cake is sweet fluffy bread..usually with a frosting...
Daria: pie is fruit or cream mush placed inside a crust...
Daria: pudding is just mush
Ishtara: What do you call this: http://www.stadtcafe-spangenberg.de/Fotos/07)%20Kuchen%20und%20Torten/Orangen-Sahne%20Torte.jpg
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Daria: tart is a firm pie..I think..no idea what the difference between a pie and a tart is
Daria: like what it says...a torte...
Daria: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Torte
Ishtara: This would be a "Torte" in German (Sachertorte should be known world-wide I think)
Ishtara: Oh.
Ishtara: Well, the only other word we have is Kuchen
Ishtara: That describes everything else
Ishtara: Such as cheesecake
Ishtara: We have no word for pie
Daria: in merikuh kuchen usually means coffeecake
Ishtara: I mean, it's a strange cocnept... cake with a filling
Daria: they dont really have it here
Daria: but when I was in Indiana (ZOMGGERMANS!) we had "kuchen"...and it was sort of a baklava...kinda...I cant remember real well
Daria: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kuchen
Daria: most likely this is the def. I remember: A coffee cake-like pastry, with veins and pockets of cinnamon  and sugar baked throughout; its primary components are butter and sugar. (Most popular in Southern Indiana.)
Ishtara: Yes, coffee cake describes it pretty well
Ishtara: Finger food
Daria: bullshit, you cant eat that with your fingers
Daria: it just falls all over the place and makes a mess
Daria: you need a fork ^_^
Ishtara: Most cake sorts can be eaten with your fingers.
Daria: not good cakes
Daria: good cakes are moist...fluffy....usually unable to be picked up
Daria: I mean you /can/ it just doesnt work real well
Ishtara: If you buy a slice at a bakery, you get a piece of cardboard (the same things they serve bratwurst on) and the cake on top. No fork.
Daria: we have established that germans have non-german food kinda fucked up though
Ishtara: Those cardboards have a perforation. You can rip a strip off and use it as finger protection
Ishtara: http://www.tradebit.de/usr/stock-photos/pub/9001/15611.jpg
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Ishtara: Like that... bit small. I mean the cardboard thing on the left
Daria: the only cake that can both be considered "good" (as in of quality) and "finger food" is a fruitcake...which I would never consider "good" (meaning delishus)
Ishtara: Cheesecake counts as a cake here
Ishtara: So does apple pie
Ishtara: We usually make it with the apples on top. Not as a filling.
Ishtara: Sometimes with a layer of streusel above the apple layer
Ishtara: Butter + sugar, basically.
Ishtara: Crumble?
Ishtara: Baked sugary butter with very little flour
Ishtara: Main ingredient is sugar.
Daria: germans are retarded. you guys say shit like "hihihihi" and "WooooOOOOoooOOOoo" and "Wir müssen die Juden ausrotten"
Ishtara:
Ishtara: Rarely in the same sentence though
Ishtara: Some people do.
Daria: you just made me lol so hard I needed my inhalor
Ishtara: But we don't consider them entirely sane
Ishtara: I read that Hitler was like that
Ishtara: "hihihihee.... Wir müssen die Juden ausrotten! wooohoooooOOO!

Daria: did you know germans have no concept of pie?
Nice Jewish Boy: really?
Nice Jewish Boy: that's strange
Daria: seriously
Daria: they dont have pie there
Daria: its all cake
Nice Jewish Boy: interesting
Daria: and since the cake is a lie...
Nice Jewish Boy: they have nothing
Nice Jewish Boy: poor germans

4 comments:

  1. In my defense... my blood sugar was running low :P And I was overtired.

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  2. Bloody Germans! - Only joking Ishtara ;) Although the American's get it wrong too - a pie should be completely covered in pastry and doesn't have to be sweet all the time. A nice meat and potato pie is what you need! Mmmmmmmm ... meat and potato pie!
    http://www.thevillagechef.co.uk/images/menu/MeatPotatoePie.jpg

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  3. Wow, the long winter nights must fly by for you two ;-)

    May I also add that during my time in Germany they had cake and (pie (tart in UK)) that would make your arteries scream and run for cover.

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  4. I'm sure that some of our Kuchen would called pie in the English speaking world :) We know Torten (fancy cake / tart) and Kuchen, which applies to most other things (my dictionary lists cake, cupcake, pound cake, black cake, loaf cake / tea loaf, plum pudding, flan and pie as possible translations). I've never seen a typical pie with a crust on top and a filling inside, such as Suella's meat & potato pie or this thing:
    http://soyjoycandles.net/images/APPLE%20PIE.jpg .

    But I usually don't eat pastry, so I'm not much of an expert :) I buy chocolate whenever I want to ruin my health a little. I could die for Belgian chocolate sea shells.

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